Friday, September 26, 2008

I love being a girl

Well, mostly. Even though I've already admitted I'm not a shining example of a girly girl, I do usually enjoy being of the fairer sex.

So I'm really hoping this kidlet is a girl.

We decided not to find out the sex at our Big ultrasound. We didn't find out with the kiddo, and I enjoyed the surprise when he was born. I always had an idea he was a boy, but to hear it (vaguely, in my endorphin and epidural-induced haze) announced seconds after birthing was a great experience.

So I decided I didn't want to find out again with this one. Me, the girl who isn't afraid to read movie and TV spoilers on the internet and flips to the back of the book to read if the ending is any good and still sometimes searches for Christmas presents before Christmas Eve. I don't mind being spoiled, I like it even. But for whatever reason, I didn't want to know with this pregnancy.

The hub thinks its a girl because the beginning of this pregnancy was so different than my last. My mom thinks its a girl because she thinks the profile is different in the ultrasounds we did have. My sister thinks its a girl and she has something like an 88% correct rating in guessing the sex of friends and relatives babies. I usually think its a girl until that little doubt creeps in my head and says "But, what if..."

I really want a girl. Don't get me wrong, I would definitely welcome and love another boy - I love my first little tractor, football and penis (he will share with everyone the fact he has one) obsessed little boy and brothers might be kind of fun. My house will never be clean and my furniture will take a beating, but it would be fun.

But I waaaant a giiiirl. I want to get cute pink and purple clothes and dresses and frilly (but not too frilly) socks and cute shoes and hair accessories (though, chances are she'll inherit my fine, lackluster hair and those would be all for naught anyway).

I want a little legacy that I can sing sorority songs to and dress up in blue and blue and give owl and key and fleur de lis things to (I already have her lovey picked out - the kiddo has the same thing, only in the giraffe. And he has 6 of them because they get so grungy from being dragged around everywhere and chewed on that at least one or two are always in the wash).

I want to show her that being a girl is fun and that we can be strong, independent and intelligent while still accessorizing and having cute shoes. That you can learn to change your tire by yourself and still make a kickass strawberry rhubarb pie from scratch. That you can be self-reliant and still be okay with asking for help sometimes. I think my sisters and I had a great role model in our mom and I would like to be able to be the same if I had a girl.

But first, this kidlet actually needs to be born. Which can happen any time now, okay?

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